Alexa PenaVega and Husband Carlos Struggled With DWTS' 'Flirty' Dynamic

Alexa PenaVega and Carlos PenaVega

Alexa PenaVega is opening up about how Dancing With the Stars can be difficult for married people.

Alexa, 36, and her husband, Carlos PenaVega, both competed on season 21 of Dancing With the Stars in 2015, and she’s not sure whether they could’ve handled the reality competition under different circumstances.

“It was early in our marriage, and we literally said [to each other that] we don’t know how spouses do this show without doing it the way we did,” Alexa said during a Sunday, November 3, appearance on former DWTS pro Cheryl Burke’s “Sex, Lies and Spray Tans” podcast.

“Like, if Carlos was doing this and I was watching this girl dance with him all close and the rehearsals or whatever, it would be so hard,” the actress continued. “And for Carlos, at that season of his life, he was such a jealous man that even though he understood the dynamic [of the show], it was still hard for him. And you know how it is — it is incredibly flirty.”

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Alexa shared that she and Carlos, 35, had to “set big boundaries” with their respective partners, Mark Ballas and Witney Carson, in order to both feel comfortable.

Carlos PenaVega and Witney Carson

“[It] was super hard for everyone around us. You know how it’s, like, super flirty backstage and whatever,” she said. “I know it was really kind of rocky for everybody, because when we went on the show, we literally said, ‘Look, we’re a married couple. You guys are our partners, and we are so excited to team up with you, but that doesn’t mean we ditch our marriage and this becomes our No. 1. Our marriage is still first.'”

Alexa added that she “got along great” with Ballas, 38, but did have to be clear with him about flirtatious behavior.

“If it was ever flirty, I’d just be like, ‘I don’t do that.’ I was a little mean, but it was only to set good boundaries,” she said. “And then we figured it out, and we ended up having a really great partnership.”

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The Spy Kids alum noted that the pressure to flirt came “less [from] Witney and Mark” and more from the show’s producers.

Alexa PenaVega (R) and Mark Ballas

“They’re trying to make it like, ‘Alexa only cares about her husband, she doesn’t care about the competition at all,’” Alexa recalled. She admitted that it “hurt [her] feelings” when guest judge Alfonso Ribeiro, who now cohosts the show, told her, “‘You and Mark can win this; you can Carlos cannot.’”

Trying to juggle the competition and her marriage — the PenaVegas tied the knot in 2014 — left Alexa feeling “defeated” at times.

“Our marriage was still so young, and we were still learning so much, and Carlos was so jealous and also battling his insecurities. I felt like I had to be there for him,” she explained. “He didn’t do anything bad, but if you see your spouse not feeling good or feeling jealousy — even though there was no reason he should’ve felt that back in the day, and he’ll tell you the same thing [that he was] just so young and dumb — it just took a toll on me.”

DWTS is known for flirtations and romances between celebrities and their pro partners. The show has sparked both short-lived flings, most recently Brooks Nader and Gleb Savchenko, and full-fledged marriages, like Robert Herjavec and Kym Johnson.

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Nearly a decade after Alexa and Carlos placed sixth and fourth, respectively, on DWTS, the couple are still going strong. They share sons Ocean, 7, and Kingston, 5, and daughter Rio, 3. Their daughter Indy was stillborn in April.

Alexa told Burke, 40, that the death of her infant daughter was “the hardest thing that you could ever walk through,” but also shared the unexpected “great feeling of peace” she and Carlos have experienced since.

“I just feel like God knew what kind of attack was coming, because he surrounded us with the most incredible community,” she said. “I would give anything to have her back, but also what we experienced in her loss was so much life. She taught us so much. … She’s still such a part of everything that we do.”