Nelly Furtado Says She Endured ‘Abusive Qualities' in Past Relationship

Nelly Furtado got real about experiencing “abusive qualities” in a past relationship — and why that breakup was so hard.

“I went through a very difficult time where I think I accepted some things that I would never accept now in terms of the way you’re treated,” Furtado, 45, said during her “Call Her Daddy” podcast episode, released on Wednesday, November 13. “Sometimes we just love so hard.”

The “I’m Like a Bird” singer stayed vague about her experience, not sharing any hints about who she was referring to but recalled “feeling powerless” in the relationship.

“We’re quite vulnerable when we become mothers, because we just want what’s best for our kids, and we want to protect them,” she explained.

Furtado shares daughter Nevis Gahunia with ex Jasper Gahunia, from whom she split in 2005. She was married to Demacio Castellon from 2008 to 2016. In 2021, the singer revealed that she was also a mother to another daughter and son, whose names haven’t been publicly revealed, with ex Gerard Damien Long.

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“You could have all the money in the world and all the resources, but in the mind, really that is your only wealth. In your mind,” an emotional Furtado said during Wednesday’s podcast episode. The singer explained why someone might not “feel strong enough and clear enough” to remove themselves from a certain romantic situation.

“I think that it’s honest to say that it is hard when you’re in a relationship that has that imbalance … and abusive qualities,” she continued. “It is hard to see outside of it because you isolate yourself, you stop talking to your friends, you don’t tell your friends the truth about what’s going on in your life, you live in a bubble, and it’s hard to admit that you have chosen to not say anything. It’s hard to admit to yourself.”

She mentioned “love” as the reason people stay — and have a hard time moving on.

“Once we’ve fallen in love, we tend to, we sacrifice ourselves sometimes, and we think we’re doing the right thing,” Furtado said.

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The “Maneater” singer explained why her past relationship and subsequent breakup had a profound impact.

“I think I just had that feeling like I had finally kind of arrived at that Yellow Brick Road and it was like gonna be that for me,” she said. “Then it turned out that it wasn’t, and that’s why it hit so hard.”

As for her relationship status now, Furtado said she has “been single for a couple of years.” But that doesn’t mean she’s off the market.

“I’m dating, but I’m dating different people,” she said. “There’s different potentialities and there’s different levels of interest and just, kind of, romance in different areas.”