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Romance Rewind: Reliving Katy Perry and John Mayer’s 3-Year Relationship

Reliving Katy Perry and John Mayer’s On-and-Off 3 Year Relationship

With more than just a complicated history with Taylor Swift in common, for a few years Katy Perry and John Mayer were deadly serious about each other. Both singers had been through their fair share of high-profile relationships before they got together but, almost a decade on from their final split, this one still somehow feels different. A colorful, cartoonish pop princess and an earthy, angsty singer-songwriter might not seem like an obvious match on paper, but these two had chemistry — both creatively and, evidently, sexually too. Let’s take a look back at one of the most compelling celebrity romances of the century (in our opinion) so far …

How It Began

Mayer and Perry first exchanged a few flirty tweets as far back as 2009, and then, according to E! News, met in person that September over drinks at a Jay-Z aftershow. But, the very next day at the VMAs, Perry also met Russell Brand, and ended up marrying him — and we all know how that one worked out. After their divorce was finalized in 2012, Perry reconnected with Mayer — no stranger himself to dating big stars, counting Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Aniston and Jennifer Love Hewitt among his exes — but it was a slow, romantic seduction, with the pair becoming pen pals (the subject of Perry’s song, “Legendary Lovers” off 2013’s Prism) before going official.

“I actually wrote it in an email one time, and after I wrote it I looked — we had a long courtship before anything was [public], just writing letters to each other,” Perry said. And even when they were together IRL, they kept up their virtual romance too, keeping in touch constantly via Skype and text.

Creativity continued to be a theme for the couple, with them recording the track “Who You Love” together, for Mayer’s 2013 album Paradise Valley — and indulging in plenty of PDAs in the video. “It’s just so authentic,” Mayer told ABC News. “There’s nothing scripted in that video except putting a bull in the middle of the desert.” Perry added: “Relationships are kind of like riding a bull. You hang on for dear life and sometimes you get a little buck here and there but you get back on.”

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How Long It Lasted

These two were notorious for being very on/off — but in total the relationship lasted for almost three years, and they finally split for good over summer 2015.

During one of their “off” periods in 2013, Perry was open about how serious she was about Mayer, telling Vogue, “I was madly in love with him. I still am madly in love with him. All I can say about that relationship is that he’s got a beautiful mind. Beautiful mind, tortured soul. I do have to figure out why I am attracted to these broken birds.”

Around the same time, Mayer also spoke to Ellen DeGeneres about what turned out to be a temporary split. “It was a very private relationship going in,” he said. “It was a private relationship during, and it’s a private relationship still. Coupling is a tricky thing. It’s a tricky thing. I want everyone to be happy.”

How It Ended

The couple were rumored to have split for the third time in March 2015, but were then photographed looking cozy together at a Grateful Dead concert in July. But then came word of what turned out to be their fourth and final split, with multiple outlets reporting the news later that summer — although the couple opted to stay silent at the time.

Mayer had previously alluded to the fact that Perry’s hectic touring schedule, strong work ethic and love of partying were hard to keep up with. “Katy is a superstar for a reason,” he said. And on another occasion he referred to himself as “the first gentleman of Katy Perry.”

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In an interview with Elle, Perry did address one of the couple’s previous splits, describing how Mayer had “pulled away” — and said it taught her a lot. “That was a big hello for me,” she said. “I realized I could lose the person I loved and I had to deal with some things, issues I think a lot of women have. You can be strong in one aspect of your life but submissive in another. In relationships, it was hard for me to speak up and set boundaries. I think a lot of that was to do with the fear of loss. The men I have gone for are challenging, yes, but they’re also wildly intelligent and poetic. I’m not interested in taming anyone. I’m pretty wild myself.”

And yet soon she was settling down with a man who seems like way more of a Steady Eddie — actor Orlando Bloom.

What They Said About Each Other

Neither Mayer or Perry held back when it came to sharing a few choice tidbits about their relationship, and it was obvious that they shared a passion for creativity — not to mention a huge sexy spark.

“We have a lot of fun, we have music as an understanding and love between each other,” Perry told Ellen DeGeneres in 2013. “We connect and it’s like he understands what I do because he does the same thing… he just gets it.”

And in 2012, when asked about the relationship, Mayer told Rolling Stone, “I’m quite happy. I’m happy in all aspects of my life. I’m very happy in all aspects of my life.”

As for more intimate details … in 2013, while presenting a show for iTunes, Perry revealed that the couple shared a love of some of Drake’s sexier songs. “He really hit home on this next one called ‘Hold On.’ I think it’s beautiful,” she said. “It sounds a little bit like kind of old vibey Lionel Richie [or] The Weeknd. It’s sexy as hell. And I listen to it with my boyfriend, so I would suggest listening to it with whoever you wanna make out with.”

What They Say Now

This is where things get a little awkward. Both parties have talked about each other since the split — but there’s a chance they might regret it now.

For instance, on James Corden’s The Late Late Show in 2017, Perry was challenged to rank three of her exes — Mayer, Bloom (they were on a brief break) and Diplo — from best to worst in bed, or face eating a 1000-year-old egg during a game of “Spill Your Guts or Fill Your Guts.”

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“They’re all amazing lovers, and I would have sex with all of them after I get out of this place,” she said, before naming Diplo third, Bloom second, and putting lucky Mayer in first place. Of course, a few months later she got back together with Bloom, and then got engaged and welcomed daughter Daisy into the world in 2020. Unfortunately, the internet never forgets.

And while all that was going on? In 2017, Mayer released a song called “Still Feel Like Your Man,” and was open about its subject matter: Perry, of course. “Who else would I be thinking about?” he said in an interview with The New York Times. “And by the way, it’s a testament to the fact that I have not dated a lot of people in the last five, six years. That was my only relationship. So it’s like, give me this, people.”

The song features lyrics like “I still keep your shampoo in my shower, In case you wanna wash your hair” as well as nodding to the former couple’s history as pen pals: “Still like the letters in your name and how they feel, babe, Still think I’m never gonna find another you.” Mayer admitted that writing it was emotional, saying “There were times when tears came out of me, and I went, O.K., John, this is not about an on-again, off-again relationship. This is something more profound.” Wow, there aren’t enough heartbreak emojis in the world for this one.

More recently, in 2022, Perry yelled “I’m triggered!” when a 20 year old auditionee on American Idol unwittingly performed a Mayer song for her. “I feel like maybe you should Wikipedia me!” she said. “It’s a great song. You did great, but I can’t talk anymore. Who is going to pay for my extra hour of therapy?”

Sure, she was joking around, but it’s clear these two made a big impact on each other.

Key Relationship Takeaways

While Perry might be busy chasing around a preschooler with Bloom and promoting her new album, 143 (which drops on September 20), Mayer’s life is pretty different — he hasn’t had a serious relationship since Perry, at least not publicly. And some fans believe he never really got over her.

Now 46, Mayer has talked about the fact that he’s still yet to settle down and start a family — but in the meantime he loves being an uncle. “There’s one thing left and that’s wife and kids,” he said in a 2021 interview with his close friend Andy Cohen. “That would complete all of it. My dad was 50 when he had me. I’ve come to a point in my life where, with this stuff, I’m not fatigued completely, but my hands are on my knees a little bit and I’m going, ‘OK, I definitely explored the life of what can be done for me by me.’ So I don’t feel late because I would never want to have a wife and kids while I was still investigating what’s out there for me to be explored by me.”

Mayer also feels that dating has become trickier since he gave up alcohol. “Dating is no longer a codified activity for me,” he said. “I don’t really date. I don’t think that I have to, to be quite honest. I quit drinking like six years ago, so I don’t have the liquid courage. I just have dry courage.”

OK, who has a friend who wants to go on a sober date with John Mayer? This is starting to feel sad.

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